Category: Self-Love Page 10 of 11

Have you ever heard someone tell you: Get over it already!? Have you ever told yourself that?

In this article, I’m going to share what happened to me last year, and give you some steps to take to “get over” a trauma, or better yet, to move through it.

A year ago today, a relationship I was involved in ended abruptly. There was no real communication, no explanation provided, only it’s over, goodbye. No calls or emails afterwards. My heart was hardened – that night I couldn’t sleep, eat, probably not even feel, as I was so numb and in shock. I remember what was said, or not said, I remember exactly whom I called afterwards, and why. I remember calling Expedia and trying to cancel the ticket I had purchased to travel with him. I remember crying on the phone with customer service, begging to cancel the ticket, only to learn it was non-refundable and non-transferable.

I also remember going on that trip alone; I had after all purchased a very expensive ticket. I remember having the support from a friend who answered the text I sent him from the airport, and he sent me loving messages in return as I cried waiting to board the plane. On the plane, I made the decision to enjoy that trip, and so I did. I was, after all, in Scotland! for the first time ever. (This photo was taking in Edinburgh - I thought the article could use a little lightness from Yoda.)

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One of my best friends gave me a bookshelf and helped me set it up. When I put it up, I realized that we had made a mistake with the back of it. The wrong side was facing us. Instead of being disappointed, upset, or even angry with myself for not realizing this minor mishap sooner, I saw it as an opportunity. I saw that silver panel as a blank canvas. I realized I could have the opportunity to create a huge painting.

So, I laid it back on the floor and I painted, and painted, and painted. You can see how it looks like in the picture within this post. I didn’t have much of a plan for it. I only knew that the sky was going to be blue. I started there. Then, I decided to paint mountains, in honor of my hometown as well as my trip to Peru. Then I painted the sun and some flowers, trees, and other details. A few days later I painted the bottom part, the attempt was to paint the beach and ocean, and probably only I or someone with a very creative mind can recognize it, and that's OK… ; )

It was a really fun project, because I was not concerned about the outcome. It is going to be behind books after all. But I will know that behind the books, there is a hidden treasure, a heaven, a peaceful place I painted. And I can assure you that no one else has or will ever have a bookshelf like this one, unless when I’m ready to give it away.

Here are some questions for you to consider as you uncover ways to transform your own mishaps into opportunities:

• What can you make it into an opportunity in your life right now?
• How can you look at a mishap or a problem upside down or backwards to help you shift your energy and find a creative solution?
• How can you allow yourself to be fully creative, letting go of perfectionism, or the perfect outcome, or even a certain outcome, period?

I recommend that you come up with something fun to do: paint, dance, laugh, sing, write, hang out with friends, listen to your favorite songs, as you put your mishap on hold, and allow inspiration to flow through you. Then, trust yourself and when you least expect it, you will smile and you will know what to do. I can tell you that painting the bookshelf was very healing, which is a bonus. 😉

Feel free to share the opportunities you come up with here.

Today is Valentine’s Day in Brazil. It is quite a different day than February 14^th in the United States. It’s mainly a day for couples to celebrate their relationship, to have a romantic dinner, exchange gifts, etc. There is no greeting card exchange with friends or loved ones who are not involved romantically.

As a single person, you tend not to care so much for this day, or you dread the day, or you don’t even think about it. The main issue is when you go out and you see all the restaurants with candle light dinners, and all the happy couples around. Here are a few good self-love attitudes to consider and practice love for self with or without a romantic relationship:

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4 Stages of Feeling Stuck and What You Can Do About it

How often do you feel stuck in your life? How about in your business? How often do you feel stuck when writing, painting, creating, growing?

I consider that we all go through different stages of “stuckness” depending on how we are responding to it, and what’s happening in each moment.

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When I was writing Ask Others, Trust Yourself, my inner critic had a lot to say about my abilities to write in English, my abilities to write period, and what could possibly set me apart from all the other great books that were out there. Ultimately, my passion for writing and my passion for sharing my own message and my deep desire to shake people up and show them there was a way, won.

As I build my coaching business, I sometimes have the same tendency, and I’m constantly asking myself what’s unique about me now? I’m on the email list of high profile coaches who have created huge empires, such as Marie Forleo with her B-school and inspiring online TV show, Fabienne Fredrickson with her highly effective Client Attraction program, and Ali Brown the e-zine Queen and entrepreneur mentor, just to name a few, so I do need to keep asking myself what’s unique about me?

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Over the years I met people who celebrate their birthdays in different ways. From one extreme of celebrating it for the whole month, to others preferring to hide, travel, disappear. I find myself in the middle. I enjoy the anticipation of the day, and sometimes I choose to spend it by myself and sometimes I celebrate it with others. I do enjoy taking in the love, through emails, phone calls, hugs, gifts, greeting cards and love messages. For a few years now, I add on my gratitude journal, how thankful I am for all those who remembered this special day.

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When coaching someone on a meditation exercise, to help her decide what to do and what actions to take that would impact her business in a big way, I encouraged her to focus on choosing a solution that would serve the highest good of all involved. She questioned my advice, which at first was surprising, but I quickly thought about it and knew what she meant. Why would she even consider the highest good of someone else who could potentially hurt her business? Or what if the highest good for others meant that she didn’t get what she wanted?

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Six Steps to Help You Shift from Self-doubt to Self-confidence

Let’s say you are launching your business: you wrote the business plan, you told your friends and family about it, you attended networking events and distributed business cards, you shared it on social media, and you placed ads on Craigslist, other sites, newspapers, and the phone isn’t ringing. Nobody is calling you for that one time free offer or discount you have to invite them to sign up for your program, buy your products or services, by a certain date. Actually the offer deadline has come and gone.

It’s natural to start questioning yourself, your talents and gifts. You may think that because it isn’t happening as your business plan projected, or as you envisioned it, it is not meant to be. You tried. You put yourself out there. Nobody has shown interest. The self-doubt settles in and you start asking yourself: ‘What’s the point? Why bother? Why would people hire me/buy from me? So and so has been doing it for a long time, why don’t they go directly to them? It makes sense that nobody is contacting me, they have other choices.’ Does this inner dialogue sound familiar? I’ve heard this from many clients, and I experienced it myself. Instead of staying stuck, you can take the following steps to shift from self-doubt to self-confidence:

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Thursday, February 14^th is Valentine’s Day in the United States. In Brazil*, Valentine’s Day is on June 12^th. Whenever you celebrate it, why not dedicate February 14^th to self-love?

Either if you are in a relationship or not, you could choose Valentine’s Day to practice self-love at its best:

1. Plan the day carefully but let go and allow for spontaneity to happen;
2. Have your favorite fruits in the morning – and prepare a nurturing breakfast;
3. Take time to meditate once or twice for at least 10 minutes on Valentine’s Day;
4. Give yourself a box of your favorite chocolate;

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I’ve been asked recently what is my coaching style, and I had to think about it for a while. It’s certainly a holistic approach, which incorporates business strategies with spiritual and self-love practices that I’ve learned on my own, through coaching others, through all the courses I’ve taken and books I read and through, at times painful, life experiences.

Furthermore, the key to my coaching is active and intuitive listening to what’s being said and to what’s hidden, and I plant a seed.  Then, if it resonates for them, I can help my clients nurture and grow the seed, which sometimes entails a new project, a different way to grow a project or provide a service, write a book, or a change of an old belief and pattern.

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