Ask Others, Trust Yourself by Elisa Balabram

Listen to Uplifting Music

Congratulations on making to day 7 of the self-love challenge! If you are joining us today, you can catch up by reading the previous posts here.

Today during your commute, or when you have a break, take time to listen to songs that are uplifting. You could search for your favorite musicians on Youtube.com, or organize a folder on iTunes of your favorite and most loving songs, and then let it play on repeat for a little while. I recommend that you choose songs that are really uplifting and empowering. Here are two songs by two wonderful musicians that I enjoy listening to and singing along as part of my self-love practice:

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Amazon July 2006

Unplug for Two Hours

Today’s challenge may require some effort from some of us going through the self-love challenge.

In 2006 I had the opportunity to visit my sister when she was living in Amazonas. We stayed three days in a lodge in the Amazon jungle with no Wi-Fi, no cell phone connection, no TV or contact to the outside world. It took a little while to adjust but it turned out to be an incredible opportunity to be fully present and to enjoy the majestic and beautiful rain forest. Granted that it was before social media, but I think we both could have handled a few days without it. I had never seen so many shades of green in my life.

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Treat yourself to…

Today is day 5 of the self-love challenge. Have you experienced any shifts so far? Have you been able to commit to one self-love activity each day? When you feel like there is no time to practice one of the daily suggestions, I suggest going back to the day 1 challenge, and hugging yourself for one minute. It is only one minute, and it can make a huge difference in your day.

What would you like to treat yourself to? What’s something that you plan to do when there is a special occasion that you could actually do it for yourself today? How about getting a massage, taking a bath, getting your nails done at a nice spa, meditating, or even simply taking a nap? If you need to reach out for help, (someone to babysit, or look out for the business, or anything else you are scheduled to do today, or order lunch),  so that you can have the time for yourself, ask for help! and take an hour today to take care of yourself and treat you to something special.

Let us know what you choose to treat yourself to today.

Call a Friend You Haven’t Talked to in a While

I had a lot of laughs yesterday, it was very healing. How did you do with yesterday’s challenge?

I visited the link posted by one of our readers, thanks Lynn, and I also watched some YouTube.com improv videos that always make me laugh. I started watching videos and reading humor books when I made a new year’s resolution several years ago to laugh more.

Today’s self-love challenge is to call a friend you haven’t heard from in a while. You may be hoping he or she calls you, you may even have exchanged emails recently, or liked their social media activities, but you have not actually spoken with them for at least a month. Think of someone who always uplifts your spirits when you are around them, and say hello. That action alone will brighten their day and yours. You may even tell them that what prompted you to call them was the self-love challenge, and maybe he/she would like to join you on this journey.  😉 If you can’t think of anyone you would like to touch base with that you haven’t talked to in a while, simply call someone you love who you know loves you back, and have a meaningful chat with them.

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Photo courtesy of Vancouver Biennale / Dan Fairchild Photography
A-maze-ing Laughter sculpture of the 2009-2011 Vancouver Biennale exhibition

Find something to laugh about today

What makes you laugh? Do you have a favorite comedian and/or a favorite humor book? Take some time today to search for a short video of your favorite comedian on YouTube, or read a passage from a humor book, and have a good laugh as part of your self-love practice. You could also invite some friends over and plan an evening of laughter.  That is so much fun!

Before you search for the video or book, set the intention that you will find something that will really make you laugh out loud with ease.

Feel free to leave a comment with a joke, a link to a video you like, or suggest a book.

Three Things You Love About Yourself

Get an index card, or a post-it, and write down three things you love about yourself. I recommend that you go within and consider what you love about who you are, about your being, about your personality, and/or about your talents and gifts. If you would like to keep going after you write the top three, go for it! This is a great self-love exercise, enjoy it.

Keep in mind that this is your list, and it is not about what others love about you; it is about what you love about yourself. If it is hard to distinguish between the two, take some time to close your eyes, breathe, be quiet and then ask yourself what you want to include on your list.

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Each day I will post one suggestion for you to follow to practice self-love, it’s a 30-day self-love challenge! Some days will be as simple as today’s suggestion, and some days may take more effort and planning.

Today’s suggestion is for you to close your eyes, breathe and hug yourself for one minute. You can set the timer to go off after one minute and you will see how it goes pretty quickly. Make sure to stay away from the computer or turn down the sound, so that you don’t have any distractions for that one minute.

I’ve also added the mantra “I love myself”, and repeated it with my eyes closed. This picture was taken a few seconds after I started this breathing/hug/meditation. You can choose to do it only once, or you can repeat it a few times throughout the day.

Cheers to a month of self-love and kindness towards ourselves. You can also follow the challenge on Facebook.

Yesterday I signed up for the BlogHer NaBloPoMo (National Blog Posting Month) challenge, which is a challenge to write a blog a day in November 2013. The theme I chose is a series of daily self-love practices. I have been working on this project for a while, and the BlogHer challenge seemed like the perfect timing to launch it.

Fireflies

I have been writing a lot about self-love and what it means and what we can do when we commit to it. It includes setting boundaries, asking for what we need, taking time for ourselves, nurturing ourselves, showing up to have fun, expressing our creativity, meditating, doing things that bring us joy, and so much more. Some of them feel safe and easy and others not so much depending on how comfortable you are or aren’t with any of those activities or states of being.

In the spirit of my own commitment to self-love, I purchased on Groupon a painting class hosted by Paint Nite –Drink Creatively. The goal was to paint fireflies and create a painting based on an original painting created by another artist of Paint Nite. The site did recommend that you do this activity with friends, but I decided to buy it last minute, and didn’t invite anyone to go with me (first mistake). I also forgot to set an intention before I got there (second mistake). As I saw the age range of the majority of the attendees, likely half my age, and the fact that all of them had gone with friends or family, I started to feel uncomfortable (third mistake, but very much related to the first one). I also didn’t consider how the others could be better painters, could have done this before, could be true artists, and how would that make me feel, at least not until we started painting (fourth mistake).

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What are you wearing for Halloween or the next costume party you are invited too?  The heroine of my next book mentions the mask she wears, and the roles she chose to play to be able to function in the world, and to keep her inner child safe. We all have developed some sort of mask and roles we play at some point in our lives.

How about if you choose one of the masks you wear, your favorite one, the one you feel the strongest about, and create a costume based on that mask and role you choose to play in life? After the party is over, you can choose to start letting go of that mask for good.

Before you come up with the mask and costume, make sure to ask permission from your inner child, after all, you will fully expose and even exaggerate one of the roles she/he plays to stay safe.

Here are some examples of roles and some costume’s ideas:

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Have you ever heard someone tell you: Get over it already!? Have you ever told yourself that?

In this article, I’m going to share what happened to me last year, and give you some steps to take to “get over” a trauma, or better yet, to move through it.

A year ago today, a relationship I was involved in ended abruptly. There was no real communication, no explanation provided, only it’s over, goodbye. No calls or emails afterwards. My heart was hardened – that night I couldn’t sleep, eat, probably not even feel, as I was so numb and in shock. I remember what was said, or not said, I remember exactly whom I called afterwards, and why. I remember calling Expedia and trying to cancel the ticket I had purchased to travel with him. I remember crying on the phone with customer service, begging to cancel the ticket, only to learn it was non-refundable and non-transferable.

I also remember going on that trip alone; I had after all purchased a very expensive ticket. I remember having the support from a friend who answered the text I sent him from the airport, and he sent me loving messages in return as I cried waiting to board the plane. On the plane, I made the decision to enjoy that trip, and so I did. I was, after all, in Scotland! for the first time ever. (This photo was taking in Edinburgh - I thought the article could use a little lightness from Yoda.)

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