Ask Others, Trust Yourself by Elisa Balabram

The end of the year is a great time to practice gratitude. Take some time to look back and write down a list of what you are most grateful for in 2013. Remember to include all areas of your life: relationships (new and old), career/business, major achievements, challenges overcome, spiritual practices, body care (health, exercises, food choices, balance), community involvement, ability to give and receive love, compassion, acceptance, forgiveness, major lessons learned and your self-love practices.

Feel to post here what you are most grateful for in 2013.

Today take some time and create a ritual you can do with family, friends, community, or by yourself, to celebrate either the winter or summer solstice. Connect with your soul and intuition, and come up with your own ritual that honors your uniqueness, your creativity and your self-love journey.

My ritual will include lighting candles and handmade incense, playing nature sounds, setting an intention, breathing deeply, connecting to my heart, and practicing a love and kindness meditation.

The website Mystic  Mamma has several suggestions for Winter Solstice or Summer Solstice rituals to be done with a group.

Feel free to share your ritual here or on Facebook.

Happy Solstice!

I’m sure you can tell by this photo that my dog (R.I.P.) used to smile as well. 😉

I was recently reminded by a friend of the power of a smile: the power of smiling by ourselves, the power of smiling when around others, and the simple power of a smile. His comments reminded me of a passage from Elizabeth Gilbert’s book “Eat, Pray, Love”, where she learned from Ketut Liyer, the healer she met in Bali, the inner smile meditation.

Since my friend reminded me to smile, I’ve been making an effort to do it on my own, to practice the inner smile meditation, and to smile to strangers who may cross my path throughout the day. I’ve been pleasantly surprised by the responses I have been getting by simply making an effort to smile. Either by meditating or by simply smiling to ourselves and to others, is a wonderful self-love practice.

Read More

As you plan to attend family events, holiday parties, and end of the year celebrations, do you feel joyful and happy, or do you feel contracted, stressed, worried, and somewhat fearful of what might happen?

If you are thinking about what happened last year, or how things “usually” go at these events, take the time to set yourself up for a different outcome this year.

The first step is to prepare yourself emotionally, and not to simply show up either hoping/wishing for a certain outcome, or already expecting that it will be awful. Next, consider what would be the best for you – some possibilities: not to show up at all, show up ready to fight, show up to have a good time, or show up to be present, and ready to give and receive love. There is no right or wrong answer, it is all about you deciding the experience you prefer to have, and then preparing for it ahead of time. Third, once you know how you would like to feel and what would be the best option for you, practice.

Read More

When growing your love for yourself, it is important to practice receiving: a compliment, a gift, an acknowledgement, support, love.

How often when someone compliments you, do you stop to connect with your heart, fully take it in, and say thank you? Or instead, how often do you say after receiving a specific compliment - thanks, BUT… I haven’t washed my hair in days; or I got this at a thrift shop or this old thing?; or I was just doing my job; or don’t mention it…? When receiving a gift or when someone pays for dinner, do you tend to say: you shouldn’t have; or there is no need for it; or this is too much, and I can’t accept it…?

Read More

Saying no and setting boundaries are crucial to any self-love practice. If you have difficulty saying no, and you are constantly overwhelmed, overbooked, and exhausted, it is time to make a change. Take some time to set your priorities and schedule time to get the important things done, time to focus, time for yourself, time for your family, and time for your friends, and then affirm the time that is non-negotiable. This will be the time for you, and for your own projects, and you will no longer be saving it to be filled by someone else’s needs. If you are available and you want to do it because it feels good to you, it is fine, but if you are doing it because you can’t say no, it is time to change.

You can start small to practice saying no to things that do not have any major consequence to you or to others involved, like saying no when someone hands you a flyer on the street. You can then start moving on to choosing when to say yes and when to say no in your life. Keep in mind that you may face some resistance at first, by those who are used to you saying yes at all times. You could let them know that you are practicing honoring your time and your needs.

Read More

The Success Journal will help you keep track of every time you achieve something special, and it is a great self-love practice. You can start by looking back through 2013 and writing down what you consider your major successes. Then, make a point to add to the list every time you overcome an obstacle, meet or surpass a milestone, achieve a goal.

The successes can include simple things such as:

• Did the dishes
• Arrived on time to all meetings
• Cleaned the house
• Started a success journal
• Wrote an outline of a business plan/book/project
• De-cluttered one drawer
• Went to the gym once a month
• Asked for help before things got out of control
• Called a friend
• Took one small step towards achieving a major goal

  Read More

I was talking to a friend who lives in Brazil, and after I mentioned the weather in New York, I asked her a suggestion for today’s self-love practice. Her response was “how can you practice it when it is freezing outside?” That’s a very good question, considering that I’m not a big fan of winter. But it did prompt me to write that having a high quality and tasty tea with family and/or friends would be nice.

So, if you are by yourself, with family, or you can invite friends over, take a moment to prepare the best tea you have in the house, serve it on your fancy tea set, truly savor it and enjoy the company.

If you are reading this and you live in a warm climate, either have some ice tea instead, or enjoy a milkshake with friends and/or family.

Have you ever stopped yourself from pursuing something you knew you were meant to do because someone said:

• You can’t do it.
• You are supposed to do it this way, not your way.
• The timing doesn’t seem right for you to be successful on this.
• This format doesn’t work unless you have ABC in place, which you don’t.
• It’s too expensive.
• It’s going to take so much work.
• And so on…

  Read More

Take a moment to enjoy this quote by Lao Tzu: “Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”

Today as a self-love practice, remember to show kindness to yourself and to others. Be kind to yourself with your self-talk, with your time, with setting boundaries, with using mantras, and with breathing deeply. Be kind to others with a smile, kind words, a small or a big gesture.

This video by Life Vest Inside - Kindness Boomerang - "One Day" shows simple and profound gestures of kindness:

Read More