Saying no and setting boundaries are crucial to any self-love practice. If you have difficulty saying no, and you are constantly overwhelmed, overbooked, and exhausted, it is time to make a change. Take some time to set your priorities and schedule time to get the important things done, time to focus, time for yourself, time for your family, and time for your friends, and then affirm the time that is non-negotiable. This will be the time for you, and for your own projects, and you will no longer be saving it to be filled by someone else’s needs. If you are available and you want to do it because it feels good to you, it is fine, but if you are doing it because you can’t say no, it is time to change.
You can start small to practice saying no to things that do not have any major consequence to you or to others involved, like saying no when someone hands you a flyer on the street. You can then start moving on to choosing when to say yes and when to say no in your life. Keep in mind that you may face some resistance at first, by those who are used to you saying yes at all times. You could let them know that you are practicing honoring your time and your needs.
The Success Journal will help you keep track of every time you achieve something special, and it is a great self-love practice. You can start by looking back through 2013 and writing down what you consider your major successes. Then, make a point to add to the list every time you overcome an obstacle, meet or surpass a milestone, achieve a goal.
I was talking to a friend who lives in Brazil, and after I mentioned the weather in New York, I asked her a suggestion for today’s self-love practice. Her response was “how can you practice it when it is freezing outside?” That’s a very good question, considering that I’m not a big fan of winter. But it did prompt me to write that having a high quality and tasty tea with family and/or friends would be nice.
Have you ever stopped yourself from pursuing something you knew you were meant to do because someone said:
How was it for you yesterday to focus on being in the moment? Did you have any interesting experiences? Ideally, you would keep practicing it every day.
Today as you continue to honor yourself and to mindfully engage in self-love, try to practice being in the moment. Every time you can remember, clear your thoughts, let go of the mind chatter, and focus on the task at hand.
Today as a self-love practice, play! What does play mean to you? Who would you like to play with… your children, your nephews and nieces, your spouse, your friends, your pet? If you are spending the day by yourself, how can you have fun today on your own? Going to the movies; Dancing to songs you love; Singing; Painting; Simply relaxing and being quiet; Riding a bike; Ice skating; Running/Walking; Playing cards; or anything else that brings you joy.