When I first started coaching entrepreneurs nine years ago, I was nervous. I asked a friend and colleague what to do if I didn’t know an answer to my first client’s questions. She wisely recommended that I could say I didn’t know, but would research it. What a relief! I didn’t have to know all the answers. Almost ten years later, it’s rarely the case that I don’t have an answer, but I realized that it’s not important to have answers at all. The key is to help others figure out the answers on their own, and to ask great questions.
One time a client shared with me this unhealthy habit she had and that she wanted to commit to stopping it. After a while she turned to me and asked, Elisa, why do you think I do this? I went over it in my head, thinking of something smart to say, asking myself, why does she do this?, please say something smart, come up with a good answer, I told myself. All I could come up with was I have no idea! Instead of saying that out loud, I thought of a question, and I asked her: When did you first start this habit, do you remember it? I thought that her answer would help us come up with a reason together. She paused, thought about it, and she smiled and said I got it, I know why I do this, I can let it go now, thank you. She never told me when or why and it didn’t matter. What mattered was that she got the answer she needed from within, and I was simply the catalyst to help her find her answers. When I followed up with her, she confirmed that she no longer had that habit.
Another client shared with me what she was planning to do, and how others advised her against it. She really wanted to know my opinion about it. The truth is that my opinion would not serve her. Instead, I gave her some questions to think about, some games for her to play to shift her energy and come up with answers that she felt comfortable with. It reminded me of something I wrote in “Ask Others, Trust Yourself” - never ask someone what they would do if they were in your shoes, as there is nobody else who has the same experiences, and/or who knows you and your needs and wants as best as you do.
An artist I coach asked for my help in deciding what she should do about a business situation. We talked about the pros and cons of the decisions she could make. Ultimately I shared with her an exercise she could do, to go within, check with her intuition and make a decision from her heart. She called me an hour later to update me on her decision. Her energy had shifted and was much more centered and calm. Trusting ourselves is always a work in progress, as long as we are committed to shifting and growing and moving forward.
Here are some questions to ask yourself when you have difficulties making a decision:
- What is bothering me in this situation?
- What are the possible scenarios my decision could create?
- How would I feel with each scenario?
- Why am I having difficulty in making a decision?
- Deep within, what’s my real truth?
- How can I best shift this situation?
- Since when have I been struggling with this situation?
If you are still not clear, and would like to work with a coach, I will have a few spots available starting on October 21st. I’m an intuitive coach, and I teach the techniques I’ve learned based on the studies and trainings I attended, my years of coaching, and my own life experiences. If you would like to consider me as a coach, contact me to schedule a Skype call. No, I don’t have all the answers. I do have plenty of questions, key exercises and tools, that I will share with you to help you let go of your own internal clutter and fear, practice self-love, and find the answers within.
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